Feelings

"Feelings are not right or wrong; they just are. 

It´s what we do with them that´s right or wrong."

For those of you who have ever been munched in a gnarly wave before--not knowing which way is up, which way is down, what your name is, finally accepting that this is your death, only to find the surface with seconds to spare--you understand how I felt this week.

And for those of you who have ever been munched in a gnarly wave--barely made it out alive, only to turn and find ANOTHER gigantic wave headed right for you--you understand how I feel as I look at this coming week.

Hermana Calderon and I only have each other, we don´t speak the same language, and (I don´t know if I will use this word, but I want to) we were "blessed" with 6 new investigators this week. Meaning we are now trying to juggle 13 investigators, 3 with baptismal dates, 3 couples that need to get married before we can set a baptismal date, and 3 who are trying to quit smoking and drinking.  AAHHHHHH. On Saturday, we were literally RUNNING to all of our appointments. I feel so blessed that the Lord is giving us these amazing people to teach but I´d more grateful if he could give us 8 days...

I feel bad for our recent converts and less active members. It´s very difficult trying to find time for everyone but we are doing the best we can with what we´ve got!

Nibaldo and Ramon were able to talk to their dad about baptism. He gave them another definite no. Nibaldo called us, upset and in tears, asking what he could do. While he was expressing his feelings, we ran out of minutes on our phone! We bailed on one of our appointments, sprinted to his house, only to find his dad out front with Nibaldo. I felt super calm and knew that we were supposed to come to his house so that we could talk to his dad. Nibaldo and Ramon were baptized Catholic so their dad thinks it´s a sin to be baptized twice. We had an extremely long (debate) conversation about church and the importance of baptism. Finally, he said, that he wanted to learn more and that if Nibaldo and Ramon continue to progress, he will let them get baptized. Well, they are ready, so I guess for now we continue teaching them and their dad see them reading, praying and going to church....It truly is a blessing because after our conversation, we are now teaching not only Nibaldo and Ramon, but their two younger brothers as well! ALL FOUR CAME TO CHURCH YESTERDAY!

Nibaldo, Hermana Pendleton and Ramon "fighting".

I wish I had time to write about all of our investigators but I don´t....Just know we are working our hardest to help everyone progress...

As for Kathy Kath, well, this week was oober hard. But I can´t express how grateful I am, at the end of the week, for the trials I am facing here on my mission.

Mother, in your email last week you said,

"Feelings are not right or wrong; they just are. 
It´s what we do with them that´s right or wrong."

That phrase stuck with me every day and I know it´s what got me through the week.

Satan was a real butthead this week and worked hard on this girl. Just because I am a missionary and am here to teach and help others gain a testimony, it doesn´t mean that I won´t face trials or need to continue strengthening my testimony. On Wednesday night, I thought I was going to lose it. I was so stressed, the language wasn´t coming and I didn´t know where to start for the following day. As I was flipping through my scripture journal, I came across a quote by Elder Bednar that I heard in the MTC.

"When you think you can´t, you´re right. 
But in the strength of the Lord, you can."
(Mosiah 4:27) 

Between your quote, Mama, Elder Bednar´s quote and this scripture, I was able to regain my focus and "have the courage to say, I´ll try again tomorrow." (Pres. Monson).

 

 

Then again, on Saturday night, I started to lose my faith again.  It was a long, exhausting day, filled with many investigators who had many needs. Again, I found myself asking Heavenly Father to bring me comfort. Immediately after, I remembered a quote that Ry Guy shared with me that I try to read quite often.  I knew I had to read it one more time to regain my faith for the day.

"Just when everything seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding, and compassion, which polish you for everlasting benefit. To get you from where you are to where he wants you to be, requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."  

-Elder Richard G. Scott

I am definitely stretching and growing - and definitely feeling discomfort and pain at times - but I am grateful for it.

I know this church is true. I love The Book of Mormon. I have all the faith in the world right now that these investigators are capable of doing anything they need to in order to be baptized. Thank you for your prayers and support! They are always much needed and always appreciated.

Tay, you look BEAUTIFUL in your prom photo!!! Holy Crap, HAWT MAMA! I´m sure all the boys were droolin´over you.

Becca, good luck on your AP tests.

Cam, I love your cheeks. 

Dad....Thank you for your email as always!! I wish I had all the time in the world to fully reply to everything you all send me!!  Know I love you dearly.

Mama....Keep up the good work at being the best mom in the world! Our family is so blessed. I know it´s hard at times, but remember that your strength, testimony and example is what keeps this girl going! I have faith in you and love you more than you know! THREE WEEKS UNTIL I GET TO GIVE YOU AN AIR HUG ON SKYPE!!!

You are beautiful people. Kiss your cheeks twice from me.

Love,
Hermana Pendleton

La Serena sunset.